Ryan – Guitar
Nice to meet you, my name is Ryan Jander, A.K.A. Commander Jander, A.K.A. the man with the Pearl Ax, A.K.A. momma said knock you out but help you back up because good manners are good deeds. On stage, you can usually find me standing to the left or to the right, but I am always standing or slightly bending over cradling my guitar ever so gently and strumming the strings like new lovers sliding softly into first base. Call me cupid fingers. A lot of our fans don’t know this but I actually got the inspiration to start playing guitar while watching the very first Karate Kid movie. I don’t know what it was but when I saw those bad guys, “The Cobra”, jump Daniel Larusso after the school dance I thought to myself ‘Man, that’s just not right, somebody should do something about that.” And since I’ve never really been good with karate chops or roundhouse kicks I decided to pick up a guitar and Kung Fu with music!! I often get asked questions like “Mr. Pearl Ax, were your fingers once tongues in a former life? because those guitar licks are amazing!” To which I reply, most likely. I don’t waste time pondering the magic of music or saliva on guitar strings or Kung Fu, I just feel blessed that this talent is being amplified through me! Rock stars don’t have time to get all philosphalogical, you know, we gotta rock the stars!! There is something I am leaving out though so I guess I should come clean…when I was 19 years old, I was in a horrible god-awful car accident. There was a full moon that night and the fog was so thick you would’ve thought that Bob Marley and all his Rasta friends were hot-boxing the city. I digress, I was only going about 15 miles per hour when I could’ve swore I saw a gigantic marshmallow come from out of nowhere and run right in front of my car!!!! That is the last thing I remember. I woke up in the hospital a few weeks later with stitches on both arms. The doctor was wearing a bandana on his head, much like the one Mr. Miyagi wore. He claimed he had given me special arms from a special place, one that he could not disclose but he said I must go forth and give the world something special. So here I give to you Eclectic Approach.